Week 6 Power Rankings
Tier 1
1- Sporty Strauss (5-0) [-]
2- Las Cabras (5-0) [-]
Tier 2
3- Shepherd Goods Choppers (4-1) [-]
4- $traight Cash Homie (3-2) [-]
5- Cooper Troopers (2-3) [-]
6- The BamOs (2-3) [-]
7- Ornery Otters (2-3) [-]
Tier 3
8- Wait ’Til Next Year (3-2) [-]
9- DTC Porkchop Express (1-4) [+1]
10- Win’s Up Doc (2-3) [-1]
11- Minnesota Moose Knuckles (1-4) [+1]
Tier of Tears
12- The Pullies (0-5) [-1]
(Tier 1) There was practically no movement in the Power Rankings this week. No team moved up or down in Tier 1 or Tier 2, but the Choppers and Homies vacated their spots in Tier 1, leaving only Sporty Strauss and Las Cabras as the two most dominant teams in the League of Leagues. Each team is dominating right now, particularly Las Cabras, who have been putting up crooked number after crooked number. Crooked like the managers they are. Strauss had as close a win as you can get last week, but is back to his high scoring ways.
(Tier 2) The middle of this league is a mess. We all learned this week that the Choppers simply cannot play with the #BigBoyz. Once CMC gets back maybe, but then it’s on to BYE weeks and these Choppers sliced their roster a tad too thin.
Like a wheeze in a prostate exam, $traight Cash Homie coughed one up to Wait ‘Til Next Year, sending the league into panic. With a Head-to-Head over Jack, Kyle is well-positioned to push for a BYE. And Jack is back in scary territory, fighting with a host of teams for the last few playoff positions.
The Cooper Troopers and The BamOs both dropped to 2-3 and the Ornery Otters picked up a crucial victory to get to that same record. In fact there are 4 teams with a 2-3 record (the last being Doc), and one of them would be in the playoffs if the season ended today. These two teams best prepare themselves for a dogfight.
(Tier 3) Everyone pour one out for The Pullies before resuming your laughter. The Pullies are officially the laughing stock of the league. Winless in the League of Leagues. Hopeless in life. Dead in the water. The Pullies better pull it together or they’ll be taking the blow up doll(s) out to dinner.
On the other side of that coin is Wait ‘Til Next Year. They entered the Tier of Tiers 3 weeks ago, and haven’t lost since. Maybe there is hope for The Pullies after all. But Kyle is incredible well-positioned to win the League of Leagues right now. If Kyle can simply get a BYE in the Consolation Bracket of NFL and the guaranteed points that come with that, he can dominate basketball and baseball to an early victory. Just don’t let Kyrie Irving know that Wait ‘Til Next Year needs him.
DTC Porkchop Express also picked up a big win over the Troopers, and clearly hasn’t given up. His team is good, and he’s going to fight tooth and nail to build the express back to its original glory. Meanwhile, Win’s Up Doc got spanked by Las Cabras in a way no man ever likes to be spanked. He had a good week too, but alas, luck is not on Oat’s side this year.
Also, congrats to the Moose Knuckles for not going winless. Enjoy it before the next 9 losses in this long season.
Week 5 High Score
Las Cabras (Pearson and Sinclair)
202 points
Notes: Our highest point total of the year! Las Cabras is dominating despite a few injuries here and there. This week they draw the Porkchop Express with hopes to break hearts and destroy souls the same way they’ve been doing.
Week 5 Low Score
Cooper Troopers (Cooper Johnson)
108 pts
Notes: The Troops gifted Craig this win. This was not one the Express really had to work to hard to win, because the Cooper Troopers laid an absolute egg. It’s a team that is beginning to flounder.
Week 5 MVP
Alvin Kamara
DTC Porkchop Express (Kyle Ooms)
27pts
Notes: It’d be easy enough to give this to Justin Herbert and Wait ‘Til Next Year again, but we’ll diversify. Troopers-Express was the closest game of the week, and Craig would have been heartbroken if he traded Diontae and Jacobs and it had cost him a win, which it very well could have if Kamara had not had a dominant performance.
Week 5 LVP(s)
Trey Sermon
Cooper Troopers (Cooper Johnson)
.7 points
Notes: On top of that, Coop made the (second) biggest lineup gaffe of the season by benching Myles Gaskin who scored 27pts on his bench for Trey Sermon who scored .7. It’s a bad look for the Johnson-swinger, who is quickly becoming one of the worst coaches in the League of Leagues. After a hot start, Jamie must be starting to tune out.
Current Playoff Seeding
Playoffs
Las Cabras (2) - BYE
Sporty Strauss (1) - BYE
Shepherd Goods Choppers (3)
Wait ’Til Next Year (8)
$traight Cash Homie (4)
Win’s Up Doc (10)
Consolation
The BamOs (6) - BYE
Cooper Troopers (5) - BYE
Ornery Otters (7)
MN Moose Knuckles (11)
DTC Porkchop Express (9)
The Pullies (12)
Week 6 Matchups
Sporty Strauss (1) vs Wait ’Til Next Year (8)
Las Cabras (2) vs DTC Porkchop Express (9)
Shepherd Goods Choppers (3) vs Win’s Up Doc (10)
$traight Cash Homie (4) vs MN Moose Knuckles (11)
Cooper Troopers (5) vs The BamOs (6)
Ornery Otters (7) vs The Pullies (12)
Notes: Even still, none of the top-5 teams in the league play each other this week. Last week, the mid-tier teams gained ground on the lower-ranked big dogs. Will that happen again? This week is a massive opportunity for Wait ‘Til Next Year, DTC Porkchop Express, and Win’s Up Doc. There is also a crucial matchup between the 5th and 6th ranked teams that will determine a lot about playoff positioning.