Week 5 Power Rankings
Tier 1
1- Sporty Strauss (4-0) [-]
2- Las Cabras (4-0) [-]
3- Shepherd Goods Choppers (4-0) [+1]
4- $traight Cash Homie (3-1) [+2]
Tier 2
5- Cooper Troopers (2-2) [-2]
6- The BamOs (2-2) [-]
7- Ornery Otters (1-3) [-]
Tier 3
8- Wait ’Til Next Year (2-2) [+3]
9- Win’s Up Doc (2-2) [-1]
10- DTC Porkchop Express (0-4) [-1]
11- The Pullies (0-4) [-1]
12- Minnesota Moose Knuckles (0-4) [-]
(Tier 1) This week had the least amount of movement in the Power Rankings. Finally. The way it should be. It happened because 3 teams have cemented themselves as clear playoff favorites, and the Power Rankings finally reflect that. The 4-0 teams could probably go 3-7 the rest of the way and still stand a reasonable chance of making the playoffs. 4-6 would get it done for sure.
Sporty Strauss stays in the top spot by default, ALMOST falling prey to Cooper’s Johnson. Las Cabras dominated this week, but they should have saved their points for a week when they don’t play The Pullies. Unfortunately for them and luckily for the other undefeated teams, Las Cabras took a huge hit to their RB corps by losing David Montgomery, who will be out for a month-and-a-half with a bad knee injury. It’s thin behind Monty, and Javonte Williams is going to have his work out out for the Pullies sans a trade.
Don’t look now, but the Shepherd Goods Choppers FINALLY jump into Tier 1. It is long overdue. It would have happened last week if not for the CMC injury. Getting a dub and his star back not going on IR is enough to sneak him in, though a win against the Moose Knuckles means even less than a win against The Pullies. The Choppers are putting themselves in a great position to take advantage of Las Cabras’ injuries and earn themselves a BYE. One can only imagine the look of horror on the League of Leagues members’ faces seeing photos of Jordan Dye on vacation sipping a Pina Colada during the cold winter when his team has a BYE in the playoffs and most everyone else is fighting for their lives.
Rounding out a thick Tier 1, perhaps letting DYE use his PJ as a reward for winning the division, is $traight Cash Homie. With back-to-back high scoring weeks, they’ve cemented themselves as an explosive team to deal with every single week. Leading rushing touchdown leader, Sam Darnold, was one of the steals of the draft. The roster isn’t perfect, but it looks more than okay to lead Jack into a playoff berth. With Wait Til Next Year and the MN Moose Knuckles on the docket the next couple of weeks, Jack is looking like a solid bet to be 5-1 with the opportunity to stack a few more wins before an absolutely brutal late-season stretch of matchups. Keep your eyes peeled for $traight Cash Homie to be a matchup of the week staple later on.
(Tier 2) If Tier 1 is thick right now, Tier 2 is paper thin. The Cooper Troopers really had a let down this week. A narrow, .26 point loss to the top team in the power rankings hurts bad. Coop could have put himself in a position for a BYE. Instead, Coop has dropped two straight weeks to the top-2 teams in the Power Rankings. There’s no shame in that, but there is worry that this is the start of a decline for the Troopers. They dominated the league in the first couple weeks looking like German Stormtroopers, but now his coaching decisions have made him look more like an Imperial Stormtrooper who can’t hit the broad side of a barn.
The BamOs and the Ornery Otters maintain their positions. These teams have better rosters than the records show, and the expectation is that it turns into wins sooner rather than later . The BamOs beat Porkchop Express because Craig didn’t check to see if his kicker was injured, and are lucky to be 2-2. Now they square off in back-to-back weeks against Sporty Strauss and the Cooper Troopers, a tough slate before an easy mid-season slate. The Otters have a tough one against the Choppers this week, before a couple matchups they can make up for in the W column. These next 3 weeks are critical for Korey, and a 1-2 record in that time probably removes him from serious playoff contention. 2-5 would be hard to recover with the strength of his division.
The Otters still have a chance to compete, but it is looking like the top-6 teams in the Power Rankings are the top-6 teams in the league. Crazy things can happen, but betting odds significantly favor Sporty Strauss, Las Cabras, Shepherd Goods Choppers, $traight Cash Homie, Cooper Troopers and The BamOs making the playoffs. Those are the teams to watch for.
(Tier 3) Wait ‘Til Next Year is the surprise of the league for two consecutive weeks. In a razor-tight win over Win’s Up Doc, he has beaten two straight teams that aren’t respected much around the League of Leagues. Now the schedule gets more difficult. His next 5 opponents are all in the top-7 of the current power rankings, and two division mates are the only ones he doesn’t play. So he plays every team ahead of him once more this season. That’s plenty of opportunity to make up some ground and win some games, but his roster just isn’t there. This is likely the highest Wait ‘Til Next Year will rank all season.
Doc suffers a brutal loss in what’s been a tough year so far. Dropping a game to a team like Wait ‘Til Next Year is just brutal for his playoff odds. If he had slightly better QBs, it might be easier for him to sneak in some wins.
The rest of the teams are 0-4. They don’t bare much discussion until they start making some moves to prepare for next season. However (and people say this every week), there is still a chance DTC Porkchop Express could still sneak into contention, because he’s only played one team in Tier 3 so far this season. But giving The BamOs that win by not playing a kicker could spell doom. There’s a realistic chance that loss is the difference between him making the playoffs if he can get his team relatively back on track. Beating the Cooper Troopers this week is almost a necessity for Craig, and he’s currently favored to lose by 20.
Week 5 High Score
$traight Cash Homie (Jack Bennett)
181 points
Notes: A dominant performance against a team he might be fighting for a playoff spot against. $traight Cash Homie almost got high score last week, and is on a tear with the over performing Wait ‘Til Next Year coming into town next week.
Week 4 Low Score
The Pullies (Peter Sorensen and Eric Herm)
106 pts
Notes: Ouch. The Pullies thought they were going to win this week, but Las Cabras stuck a large knife in their hearts. A performance this bad probably puts ice on their season, though The Pullies disregarded their record and took a win-now approach in the NBA start-up draft. If there’s one thing we know about The Pullies it’s that they never give up, and they will do their darnedest every single week to Pull themselves back into contention.
Week 4 MVP
Daniel Jones
Wait ‘Til Next Year (Kyle Ooms)
30 pts
Notes: Wait ‘Til Next Year has gotten TWO STRAIGHT MVPs for his QBs winning in tight matchups. Daniel Jones was available for trade, and people were reticent to make deals. Now, Wait ‘Til Next Year has found a groove and is firmly in the driver’s seat to win the entirety of League of Leagues this year with a decent performance in football. Everyone needed his football team to be in the gutter, and two straight wins somehow gives his team a shot to at least get a Consolation BYE, which would guarantee he doesn’t finish bottom-2, which is what everyone else needs.
Week 4 LVP(s)
Myles Gaskin
Cooper Troopers (Cooper Johnson)
.3 points
Notes: Coop needed one more catch from Myles Gaskin. 3 more yards. .3 points from a projected 10.5 guy is a tough pill to swallow. Travis Kelce could also apply to this, because Coop needs that production to offset his roster. Coop had bad games all around in an immensely winnable contest.
Current Playoff Seeding
Playoffs
Las Cabras (2) - BYE
Shepherd Goods Choppers (3) - BYE
Sporty Strauss (1)
$traight Cash Homie (4)
Cooper Troopers (5)
Win’s Up Doc (8)
Consolation
Wait ’Til Next Year (11) - BYE
The BamOs (6) - BYE
Ornery Otters (8)
DTC Porkchop Express (9)
The Pullies (10)
MN Moose Knuckles (12)
Current Playoff Matchups
Playoffs
Wait ‘Til Next Year (6th) at Sporty Strauss (3rd)
Cooper Troopers (5th) at $traight Cash Homie (4th)
Consolation
MN Moose Knuckles (12th) at Wait ‘Til Next Year (9th)
The Pullies (11th) at DTC Porkchop Express (10th
Week 5 Matchups
Sporty Strauss (1) vs The BamOs (6)
Las Cabras (2) vs Win’s Up Doc (9)
Shepherd Goods Choppers (3) vs Ornery Otters (8)
$traight Cash Homie (4) vs Wait ’Til Next Year (8)
Cooper Troopers (5) vs DTC Porkchop Express (10)
The Pullies (11) vs MN Moose Knuckles (12)
Notes: Another weird quirk! None of the top-5 teams in the league play each other this week. This gives Tier 1 a chance to solidify their statuses AND gives the middle-tier teams a chance to make up some ground against the big daddies.
Along with that, we have the TOILET BOWN FESTIVAL!!!!!!! between the worst two teams in the League of Leagues, by ALL metrics. Everyone prepare for the stink fest of the year. Unfortunately, this means that either the Moose Knuckles or The Pullies will need to revoke their ‘winless’ title, but good for them. Good for whoever wins. It will be the only solace in a lost season.