Matty Ice Owls
Matt Theisen
Matty Ice Owl’s take over for The BamO’s (RIP). After a number of trades that left the rest of the league scratching their heads, Matty Ice Owls has a lot of work to do to rebuild this team. Theisen is hoping to years of franchise building in Madden will translate to the League of Leagues.
$traight Cash Homie
Jack Bennett
Consistently ranked in the middle of the pack, don’t expect owner Jack Bennett to share that perspective as he surveys the outlook of his team comfortably seated in his private jet. The only thing higher than his cruising altitude is Jack’s self-evaluation of Straight Cash Homie’s season long projections. While he’s got the pieces to be competitive, he’s an injury or two away from serious turbulence. If he loses one or more of his players for any amount of time, this team is going to be crash landing to the bottom of the rankings.
Shepherd Goods Choppers
Jordan Dye
Jordan Dye may not be new to team ownership, but he’s new to success, and he’s relishing in it. Anchored by a strong foundation that includes the top-2 players in the league, The Choppers have the cornerstones to make a run as long as he keeps making moves. The Choppers rule waivers. As the self-proclaimed “King of the Waiver Wire,” Jordan is off to a hot start having already made 15 moves through 3 weeks. It won’t end there.
Minnesota Moose
Knuckles
Chris Hall
The GM of the MN Moose Knuckles, Chris Hall, is a veteran to sports management. As a scout, his first ever pick was Joe Montana in 1979. He has fond memories of using the Pony Express to send in his lineup each week. He’s hoping his many years of experience will translate to success over the youthful owners in the League of Leagues, but so far his players have more taken after Hall’s ancient knees and joints.
Cooper Troopers
Cooper Johnson
Cooper Kupp, Amari Cooper, Bradley Cooper, IT DON’T MATTER. If your name is Cooper, the Cooper Troopers will find you and enlist you! The only thing more boring than his logo is the roster Cooper marches week in and week out, but that hasn’t stopped him from platooning his Troopers to a solid record. Even though his wife sets his lineup, real estate mogul Cooper Johnson has cemented himself as a team not to sleep on. As long as the “Coopers” continue to outkick their coverage, expect them to remain competitive.
Ornery Otters
Korey Koob
Alliterations are all about alignment, and at the surface, Korey Koob, the GM of the Ornery Otters, appear to be positioned well. Ranked near the top of the NFL leg of the League of Leagues, the Otters depth at receiver is as vast as the waters these semiaquatic mammals call home. However, just like the Otter, this team is clearly not built to run well. Expect the Otters to float as far as their receivers will take them, and hope they’re not forced to run from trouble.
DTC Porkchop Express
Craig McCall
What’s in a name? The Pork Chops are well positioned as a dynasty to be reckoned with, as GM Craig McCall spent years of research to set himself up for the future, with a squad full of young talent. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said about his prospects for success this calendar year. With a division as stacked as the DTC dancers, it’s safe to say his outlook for this year can be summed up with an ode to the movie title attributed to his namesake: there’s “Big Trouble in Little China”.
Win’s Up Doc
Dr. Oatrick McGonagill
Oat McGonagill received the rare promotion from Team Doctor to General Manager. But if only fantasy sports were as easy as radiology, Dr. Down Bad wouldn’t wouldn’t feel so hopeless. With great irony, Win’s Up Doc can’t stay healthy. To make matters worse, he’s regarded a notorious neglecter of Quarterbacks. The League of Leagues is not for the faint of heart, and Win’s Up Doc has a long road to contention.
Wait ‘Til Next Year
Kyle Ooms
Wait Til’ Next Year is truly a team that encompasses its name. Parallel to Chicago’s sports scene, their dumpster fire of the present pales in comparison to their hope for the future. With wheel-and-deal GM Kyle Ooms at the helm, trading for future assets is a high probability, and future heart break is a certainty.
Las Cabras
Trevor Pearson and Jordan Sinclair
Goats are dirty creatures and, in turn, Las Cabras are a dirty team. Hell-bent on manipulating practice squad rules, Trevor Pearson and Jordan Sinclair think they are the greatest GMs of all time. Their hubris consistently gets them in trouble with the league office and the other teams in the League of Leagues. “Defeating Las Cabras is my most satisfying victory,” is a common sentiment amongst the other teams, but it doesn’t happen often. Las Cabras are intent to prove themselves the G.O.A.T. of fantasy sports.
The Pullies
Peter Sorensen and Eric Herm
The Pullies are a joint operation run by Eric Herm and Peter Sorensen. They enjoy long walks on the beach thinking about what Gus Edwards might have been. The Pullies take hard-line trade negotiating tactics, intent to piss off every other GM in the League of Leagues at some point in the year. Their trade offers are never meant to do more than Pull your leg.
Sporty Strauss
Michael Strauss
In the League of Leagues, Michael Strauss is known colloquially as the Rat. His favorite pastime is reading the League Manifesto, and he has memorized every word of that hallowed text so he can prevent the other General Managers from skirting the rules. Sporty Strauss enjoys catching another team’s rules violation far more than winning his own matchup on any given week.