Week 13 NFL Power Rankings
Week 13 Power Rankings
Tier 1
1- Las Cabras (8-4) [+1] *yx*
2- DTC Porkchop Express (8-4) [+2]
3- The BamOs (8-4) [+2]
4- Shepherd Goods Choppers (8-4) [-3]
Tier 2
5- Ornery Otters (7-5) [+1]
6- Sporty Strauss (7-5) [-3]
7- $traight Cash Homie (6-6) [-]
Tier 3
8- Win’s Up Doc (5-7) [-]
9- Cooper Troopers (4-8) [+1]
10- The Pullies (3-9) [+1]
11- Wait ’Til Next Year (5-7) [-2]
12- Minnesota Moose Knuckles (3-9) [-]
(Tier 1) This week’s Matchup of the Week flipped the league on its head. This whole week did, honestly. DTC Porkchop Express has completed an absolutely unprecedented 8-week win streak and is now in position for a BYE. DTC Porkchop Express isn’t 100% healthy right now, is fighting some BYES (Aaron Jones, DJ Moore), has some quarterbacking issues and still plays a couple of decent teams down the stretch, so they can’t yet return to #1 on the power rankings like they were in the preseason. What’s killing DTC Porkchop Express is the 0-4 start in his division. Now he needs to beat those teams to have a chance at the BYE, like he did last week. But it’s never going to be over until the fat lady sings for Craig. He CANNOT clinch his division or a BYE this week, and he’ll have to wait until next week to do so. His luck might run out before then though.
Las Cabras is ranked #1 because of their schedule. With games against Wait ‘Til Next Year and the MN Moose Knuckles to end the season, a BYE is a virtual certainty for Las Cabras. They should feel comfortable to plan accordingly. They’ve clinched their division, and can start building around towards playoff run.
Meanwhile the Shepherd Goods Choppers and The BamO’s are locked in a tight division race. Like Craig, playoffs are NOT a certainty for either team, but the magic number is one: one win for either of them or one loss for $traight Cash Homie. But the SG Choppers just blew their only easy game remaining on the season. Now Jordan needs to take his banged up squad to beat either Jack or Sam the last two weeks of the season. Not an easy task, and Jord will be sweating bullets. He really needs The Pullies to beat Jack next week, but it’s never worth relying on The Pullies to save your season.
An added benefit to The BamO’s: they defeated Las Cabras AND DTC Porkchop Express. If The BamO’s can win a few games down the stretch, they’ll get a BYE. That’s be a tad tougher for Shepherd Goods Choppers, and their matchup in Week 14 looms large. It’s close, but The BamO’s should still be rooting for Jordan over Jack this week. The top two teams in Shepherd Goods Division are basically tied in points, and The BamO’s should feel confident that he scores more points than Jordan the rest of the way. And if Jack loses, Sam clinches a playoff spot.
The dirty little secret, however, is that none of these teams are particularly terrifying. The playoffs are anybody’s game right now. There’s a reason the top spot in the Power Rankings keeps shifting. There’s a reason teams are rising and falling. NOBODY is that good. It is likely that a team grabs that mantle in the next 5 weeks and dominates the League of Leagues leg of football.
(Tier 2) This tier cements the 7 teams contending for the playoffs. It’s highly unlikely anyone else can sneak in, though a couple more teams are still mathematically alive. It’s going to be a tight finish.
Sporty Strauss is on the other side of Craig’s ledger. An ill-timed 4-game losing streak has put his playoff odds in serious jeopardy. He lost to $traight Cash Homie as well, so a clean tie would go to Jack who also has the points tiebreaker by over 100 points right now. Sporty Strauss’ Packers are on a BYE this week against Ornery Otters, so he’ll be without key contributors in Dillon and Davante Adams. This is REALLY scary territory for Sporty Strauss, and he’s no guarantee to make the playoffs even if he wins one of these two games. He could use reinforcements, but there’s it’s hard to see when there’s no guarantee of the playoffs.
It’s the same exact story for the Ornery Otters. While the win was GREAT for his odds, it’s not over yet. He still faces two of the top teams in the league in Sporty Strauss and DTC Porkchop Express, both fighting for a playoff berth. And he still loses the tiebreakr Jack right now regardless of if it’s points or H2H. The Ornery Otters might be getting a tad healthier, however, and they draw Strauss on the Packers BYE this week. The doors are opening up for Korey. All hell is breaking loose in Nolo’s Division, and the Ornery Otters should suddenly be feeling optimistic about, not only their chances to win NFL, but the League of Leagues as a whole. He went from considering selling a week or two ago, to being a prime contender.
$traight Cash Homie isn’t out of it (yet), and he gets the down-trending Shepherd Goods Choppers this week. Then it’s Pullies time. If $traight Cash Homie wins his final two games of the season, he’s likely IN the playoffs as the second highest scoring team in the entire League of Leagues. This week, things are simpler, he’s rooting for himself against Jordan and maybe hoping DTC and BamO’s lose. Strauss and Otters play this week, and his odds go slightly up if Strauss wins. DTC Porkchop Express is a better team than Win’s Up Doc, and DTC plays the Ornery Otters in week 14. Right now, the odds say that $traight Cash Homie has a 50-50 shot of making the playoffs, and that feels about right. Luckily for him, there’s no chance he will be eliminated this week.
(Tier 3) It’s time to start thinking about Consolation Bracket BYEs a little bit more. The Cooper Troopers have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, and they could do the whole league a favor by beating Wait ‘Til Next Year this week and earning a Consolation BYE with another victory next week over the Moose Knuckles. Win’s Up Doc could get a BYE as well, but it’s unlikely with the schedule. He will certainly be fighting for it. The Pullies and MN Moose Knuckles are almost eliminated from BYE contention, but I late-season run could get them there. Both teams are currently playoff teams in basketball, and they have every reason to compete for a BYE, but their lack off points and Head-to-Head victories might make it difficult.
The other BYE likely goes to the team that barely loses out of the playoffs.
Week 12 High Score
The Pullies (Peter/Eric)
153 points
Notes: The Pullies are putting their name on the map for the Consolation Playoffs. They can’t get a BYE, but if they can win the shebang, their odds for placing this season get much, much higher. The Pullies might even be putting themselves in position to be Buyers as the trade market continues to flow.
Week 12 Low Score
Wait ‘Til Next Year (Hall)
82 points
Notes: Kyle’s hopes for the playoffs are over. With that, the league rejoices. Wait ‘Til Next Year’s odds of winning everything have gone down significantly over the past couple of weeks, and he doesn’t have the horses to win anything in the Consolation Tournament. Everything hinges on him getting a BYE.
Week 12 MVP
Joe Mixon
DTC Porkchop Express (Craig)
33 points
Notes: There were a few close games this week, but most of those teams had solid all-around performances from their teams. Craig had bad QB play, but still beat a top team on the back of Joe Mixon (and Jaylen Waddle). If you’re going to be built around RBs, quantity is the way to go. And DTC Porkchop Express has an RB that is going off every single week. It’s just not always the same guy.
Week 12 LVP
Cam Newton
Win’s Up Doc (Oat)
5 points
Notes: What a brutal game for Oat. It would have been tough for whoever lost, but a 5-point game when Cam Newton completed only 5 passes for 92 yards and threw two picks is a tough pill to swallow. What seemed like a gift, Cam Newton’s signing with the Panthers, turned out to be a curse with players like Elijah Mitchell on his bench. It’s a tough week of coaching that is going to haunt Oat forever. Now he needs to hope $traight Cash Homie loses his last two games against The Pullies and Shepherd Goods Choppers and that he wins his last two while scoring 150 more points than Sporty Strauss. Strauss would also have to lose to the Ornery Otters this week. Win’s Up Doc’s odds are extremely long, but crazier things have happened.
Current Playoff Seeding
Playoffs
DTC Porkchop Express – BYE – (96% Playoff Odds)
Las Cabras – BYE – (yz)
Shepherd Goods Choppers – (97% Playoff Odds)
The BamOs – (99% Playoff Odds)
Sporty Strausss (82% Playoff Odds)
Ornery Otters (75% Playoff Odds)
Consolation
$traight Cash Homie – BYE – (50% Playoff Odds)
Wait ’Til Next Year – BYE – (<1% Playoff Odds)
Win’s Up Doc – (1% Playoff Odds)
Cooper Troopers
MN Moose Knuckles
The Pullies
Week 13 Matchups
Las Cabras (1) vs MN Moose Knuckles (12)
DTC Porkchop Express (2) vs Win’s Up Doc (8)
The BamOs (3) vs The Pullies (10)
Shepherd Goods Choppers (4) vs $traight Cash Homie (7)
Ornery Otters (5) vs Sporty Strauss (6)
Cooper Troopers (9) vs Wait ’Til Next Year (11)
Week 14 Matchups
Las Cabras (1) vs Wait ’Til Next Year (11)
DTC Porkchop Express (2) vs Ornery Otters (5)
The BamOs (3) vs Shepherd Goods Choppers (4)
Sporty Strauss (6) vs Win’s Up Doc (8)
$traight Cash Homie (7) vs The Pullies (10)
Cooper Troopers (9) vs MN Moose Knuckles (12)
Ranking of Easiest Remaining Schedules
Las Cabras (Moose Knuckles, Wait ‘Til Next Year)
The BamO’s (Pullies, Choppers)
$traight Cash Homie (Choppers, Pullies)
DTC Porkchop Express (Win’s Up Doc, Ornery Otters)
Sporty Strauss (Ornery Otters, Win’s Up Doc)
Shepherd Goods Choppers ($traight Cash Homie, BamO’s)
Ornery Otters (Sporty Strauss, DTC Porkchop Express)