NFL Round 2 Preview
LAST-PLACE MATCHUP
MN Moose Knuckles (11) -17 vs The Pullies (12)
QB1 – Taysom Hill (QB12 – MIA - MNF) vs Joe Burrow (QB11 – BAL)
QB2 – Taylor Heinicke (QB24 – @DAL - SNF) vs Carson Wentz (QB22 – @ARI)
RB1 – Nick Chubb (RB3 – @GB - Sat) vs Devonta Freeman (RB30 – @CIN)
RB2 – Duke Johnson (RB36 – @NO - MNF) vs Mike Davis (RB40 – DET)
WR1 – DK Metcalf (WR16 – CHI) vs Justin Jefferson (WR3 – LAR)
WR2 – Amon-Ra St. Brown (WR21 – @ATL) vs Stefon Diggs (WR10 – @NE)
TE – Mark Andrews (TE3 – @CIN) vs Rob Gronkowski (TE4 – @CAR)
FLEX1 – Christian Kirk (WR25 – IND - Sat) Odell Beckham Jr (WR29 – @MIN
FLEX2 – Dalton Schultz (TE9 – WAS) vs Nyheim Hines (RB56 – @ARI - Sat)
D/ST – Chiefs (D4 – PIT) vs Broncos (D12 – @LV)
MN Moose Knuckles: Advantage at 5/10 positions
The Pullies: Advantage at 5/10 positions
A last-place matchup for the ages. The Pullies and the MN Moose Knuckles, the worst teams in the League of Leagues. Each team made terrible, awful, woeful decisions in the draft and have lived with those consequence for the entirety of their existence in the League of Leagues. Their seasons started out as disasters, and have continued on that way (except a fun last month of the regular season for The Pullies). When it’s all said and done, one of these teams deserves last place. And one of them will get it in a war of attrition and absolute fantasy football disaster. The rest of the League of Leagues looks down on them with awe in their ineptitude, and warm, fuzzy, Christmas feelings about how the other ten teams aren’t last. But either The Pullies or the MN Moose Knuckles will go down in League of Leagues history as the very first team to lose a league, and they’ll have to bear that mark of shame for the rest of their tenure.
PLAYOFFS
The BamO’s (1) -3 vs Sporty Strauss (6)
QB1 – Aaron Rodgers (QB5 – CLE - Sat) vs Tom Brady (QB7 – @CAR)
QB2 – Russell Wilson (QB13 – CHI) vs Trevor Lawrence (QB27 – @NYJ)
RB1 – Dalvin Cook (RB3 – LAR) vs Najee Harris (RB7 – @KC)
RB2 – Aaron Jones (RB13 – CLE - Sat) vs Antonio Gibson (RB11 – @DAL)
WR1 – Diontae Johnson (WR7 – @KC) vs Davante Adams (WR2 – CLE - Sat)
WR2 – Michael Gallup (WR36 – WAS - SNF) vs Tee Higgins (WR11 – BAL)
TE – Evan Engram (TE21 – TEN) vs Kyle Pitts (TE8 – DET)
FLEX1 – Josh Jacobs (RB14 – DEN) vs Jakobi Meyers (WR46 – LAC)
FLEX2 – Melvin Gordon (RB19 - @LV) vs AJ Dillon (RB25 – CLE)
D/ST – Colts (D15 – @ARI - Sat) vs Dolphins (D19 – @NO)
DTC Porkchop Express: Advantage at 5/10 positions
Sporty Strauss: Advantage at 5/10 positions
The BamO’s INJURIES: Mike Evans (D - Hamstring), Julio Jones (D - Hamstring), Alexander Mattison (O - COVID), TJ Hockenson (IR)
Sporty Strauss INJURIES: Brandin Cooks (Q - COVID), Elijah Moore (IR), Kadarious Toney (Q - COVID), Chris Carson (IR)
A three-point line in a semi-final matchup!? It doesn’t get better than that! All things considered, Sporty Strauss has to feel encouraged by this draw. The BamO’s two QBs have a broken toe or are struggling immensely, but one of Sporty Strauss’ QBs is struggling more than maybe any other starting QB. Strauss continues to win in spite of Trevor Lawrence, and Tom Brady just lost all his top pass-catching options. This isn’t a bad draw for The BamO’s as well.
This matchup likely comes down to the running backs. The BamO’s finally get to use their new 1-2-3 punch of Dalvin Cook, Aaron Jones and Josh Jacobs, but Strauss also counters with 3 top-25 running backs this week.
Each of these teams have also lost a WR (likely) this week. COVID claimed Brandin Cooks, and with a bench filled with defenses and backup QBs, Strauss doesn’t have great backup options. Michael Gallup isn’t a terrible replacement for Mike Evans, but Sam needs his best players available with a mortgaged future.
One thing that’s confusing: why do both of these teams have low-ranked defenses. The BamO’s had the BYE to think ahead and make moves for a better defense or two, while Strauss has 4 defenses on his roster. One of these teams likely get lucky with the D, but neither team should expect much from the D/ST. And there should be no “D/ST brags” after this matchup.
Las Cabras (2) +2 vs Shepherd Goods Choppers (5)
QB1 – Josh Allen (QB3 – NE) vs Patrick Mahomes (QB2 – PIT)
QB2 – Kyler Murray (QB4 – IND - SAT) vs Jalen Hurts (QB8 – @WAS)
RB1 – David Montgomery (RB9 – @SEA) vs Cordarrelle Patterson (RB6 – DET)
RB2 – Javonte Williams (RB10 – @LV) vs James Robinson (RB8 – @NYJ)
WR1 – Deebo Samuel (WR5 – @TEN - TNF) vs Hunter Renfrow (WR13 – DEN)
WR2 – Mike Williams (WR22 – @HOU) vs Adam Thielen (WR18 – LAR)
TE – George Kittle (TE1 – @TEN - TNF) vs Zach Ertz (TE6 – IND - Sat)
FLEX1 – Hollywood Brown (WR20 – @CIN) vs Jamison Crowder (WR45 – JAC)
FLEX2 – Chase Claypool (WR37 – @KC) vs Craig Reynolds (RB40 – @ATL)
D/ST – Cowboys (D1 – WAS - SNF) vs Rams (D13 – @MIN)
Las Cabras: Advantage at 6/10 positions
Shepherd Goods Choppers: Advantage at 4/10 positions
Las Cabras INJURIES: Kareem Hunt (Q - COVID/Ankle), Jarvis Landry (Q - COVID, Sam Darnold (Q)
Shepherd Goods Choppers INJURIES: Adam Thielen (P - Ankle), Cole Beasley (O - COVID), JD McKissic (IR - Concussion) Christian McCaffrey (IR), Corey Davis (IR), Kenyan Drake (IR), Mark Ingram (IR), Deonte Harris (S), DJ Chark (IR)
Another less-than 3pt line in the battle of the QBs! 4 top-8 QBs this week play in this game and will likely make up a significant portion of the points for each team. And while Las Cabras have the best roster in the League of Leagues, that is built on three premises. (1) That they have better QBs than the opposing team, which isn’t necessarily true with the matchups this week. And (2) that they have the depth to withstand any injuries. And (3) they’ll have superhuman performances from George Kittle.
The Shepherd Goods Choppers simply have EXCELLENT matchups this week all across the board, and Las Cabras should have a little bit of fear hanging in their balls. Somehow, the Shepherd Goods Choppers are FAVORED in this matchup with Cordarelle, James Robinson, Jamison Crowder and Craig Reynolds each being immensely playable assets this week.
Don’t crown Cabras kings yet. Dye has something yet to say about it.
5TH-PLACE GAME
DTC Porkchop Express (3) +16 vs Sporty Strauss (6)
QB1 – Jimmy Garoppolo (QB15 – @TEN - TNF) vs Matthew Stafford (QB6 – @MIN)
QB2 – Ryan Tannehill (QB20 – SF - TNF) vs Jared Goff (QB25 – @ATL) / Tyler Huntley (@CIN)
RB1 – Alvin Kamara (RB5 – MIA - MNF) vs Jonathan Taylor (RB1 – @ARI)
RB2 – Joe Mixon (RB28 – BAL) vs Devin Singletary (RB29 – @NE)
WR1 – Keenan Allen (WR6 – @HOU) vs Terry McLaurin (WR21 – @DAL)
WR2 – Jaylen Waddle (WR14 – @NO - MNF) vs AJ Brown (WR25 – SF - TNF)
TE – Jonnu Smith (TE27 – BUF) vs Dallas Goedert (TE7 – NYG)
FLEX1 – Jeff Wilson (RB24 – @TEN - TNF) vs Jerry Jeudy (WR41 - @LV)
FLEX2 – Brandon Aiyuk (WR28 – @TEN - TNF) vs Chubba Hubbard (RB36 – TB)
D/ST – Chargers (D7 – @HOU) vs Buccaneers (D2 – @CAR)
DTC Porkchop Express: Advantage at 6/10 positions
Ornery Otters: Advantage at 4/10 positions
DTC Porkchop Express INJURIES: Michael Carter (Q - COVID)
Ornery Otters INJURIES: AJ Brown (Q), Chris Godwin (IR), Michael Thomas (IR) Jameis Winston (IR), DeAndre Hopkins (IR), Damien Harris (Q)
This feels like cruel punishment to make these teams play a 5th place game when they got their hearts shattered by poor performances last week. Now they drag their banged up rosters to battle over a difference in 1-point in the season-long tally. Hopefully, the winner feels a little bit better about their teams going forward.
CONSOLATION TOURNAMENT
Wait ‘Til Next Year (10) -22 at $traight Cash Homie (7)
QB1 – Justin Herbert (QB1 – @HOU) vs Kirk Cousins (QB13 – LAR)
QB2 – Matt Ryan (QB21 – DET) vs Sony Michel (RB23 – @MIN)
RB1 – Ronald Jones (RB11 – @CAR) vs James Conner (RB17 – IND - SAT)
RB2 – Clyde Edwards-Helaire (RB16 – @LAC) vs Miles Sanders (RB20 – NYG)
WR1 – CeeDee Lamb (WR8 – WAS) vs Ja’Marr Chase (WR9 – BAL)
WR2 – Antonio Brown (WR14 – @CAR) vs Michael Pittman (WR19 – @ARI)
TE – Foster Moreau (TE26 – @DEN) vs Dawson Knox (TE5 – @NE)
FLEX1 – DeVante Parker (WR31 – @NO - MNF) vs Russell Gage (WR27 – DET)
FLEX2 – Gabriel Davis (WR33 – @NE) vs Tyreek Hill (WR4 – PIT) / Darrell Henderson (RB31 – @MIN)
D/ST – Saints (D5 – MIA) vs Ravens (D23 – @CIN)
Wait ‘Til Next Year: Advantage at 8/10 positions
$traight Cash Homies: Advantage at 2/10 positions
On their League of Leagues bingo card, who had Wait ‘Til Next Year’s (previously) sorry-ass squad with the highest projected spread in any playoff game? It’s a shocking turnaround led by smart roster moves and some a deep bench. Ronald Jones and Antonio Brown stepping into 1A roles at each position on the Buccaneers is the prime reason for this spread. Expect Wait ‘Til Next Year to roll over the likely Lamar-less $traight Cash Homies roster.
The winner plays for the Consolation victory. The loser plays for 9th or 10th place.
Cooper Troopers (9) -5 at Win’s Up Doc (8)
QB1 – Dak Prescott (QB9 – WAS - SNF) vs Justin Fields (QB16 – @SEA)
QB2 – Tua Tagovailoa (QB17 – @NO) vs Cam Newton (QB23 – TB)
RB1 – Rashaad Penny (RB20 – CHI) vs Ezekiel Elliott (RB14 – WAS)
RB2 – Jamaal Williams (RB36 – @ATL) vs Saquon Barkley (RB18 – @PHI)
WR1 – Cooper Kupp (WR1 – MIN) vs Tyler Lockett (WR12 – CHI)
WR2 – Amari Cooper (WR26 – WAS - SNF) vs Darnell Mooney (WR34 – @SEA)
TE – Travis Kelce (TE2 – PIT) vs Gerald Everett (TE17 – CHI)
FLEX1 – Marvin Jones (WR45 – @NYJ) vs Austin Ekeler / Joshua Kelley (RB8 – @HOU)
FLEX2 – Myles Gaskin (RB39 – @NO - MNF) vs Courtland Sutton (WR51 – @LV)
D/ST – Eagles (D2 – NYG) vs Packers (D6 – CLE - Sat)
Cooper Troopers: Advantage at 7/10 positions
Win’s Up Doc: Advantage at 3/10 positions
Cooper Troopers INJURIES: Travis Kelce (Q - COVID), Harrison Butker (Q - COVID), D’Andre Swift (D), Emmanuel Sanders (D)
The Pullies: Leonard Fournette (IR), Tyler Higbee (Q - COVID), Baker Mayfield (Q - COVID)
COVID is hitting these teams hard. Kelce and Ekeler’s presence or absence looms large on each side of this matchup. However, Coop still has 2 rock solid starting QBs whereas Win’s Up Doc’s QBs are playing poorly or don’t even have a guaranteed snap share. Luckily, the Cooper Troopers have Cooper Kupp starting against one of the worst secondaries in the league. Coop should be favored in this game by more than the line suggests, and might prevent himself from finishing in last place, which is all he cares about.
The winner plays for the Consolation victory. The loser plays for 9th or 10th place.